Posts RSSWhat quality serves you best?
As the year draws to a close, it is natural to muse on the mental stocktake, you know, what worked, what didn’t, how will next year be different. Last year I shared with you my take on New Year Resolutions (eg the Goal Schmoal, Think Themes). Last year, I dearly wanted to create more Zen in more life. Curiously, I engineered the reverse initially, got stuck in a pattern of poor health, but got there in the end. I’m now meditating regularly, life is much simpler in many ways, and I am deeply appreciative of good health and back on the path of maintaining that. I am breathing more, and breathing better. Letting go.
But this coming year I want to focus on qualities that will serve me best.
On reflection I may have allowed “Doubt” a little too much air time in 2009. Now, don’t get me wrong, Doubt is very useful, and I am greatful for Doubt’s protection during the year. But when Doubt is given too much opportunity, it paralyses, and undermines, it complicates, and it shoves “Joy“ in a bottom drawer. Doubt subscribes to astrologer’s feeds, re-does budgets endlessly, needs a counsellor to listen to it, and is so very, very tiring.
I’m really looking forward to giving “Trust” a spotlight this coming year. Trust can come and play more often. She’ll probably wear swhirling bohemian skirts, and less make-up. Trust is liberating, doesn’t mind an occasional mistake, actually learns from them really. Trust’s voice is not necessarily loud, but it is steady and had a deep and warm vocal tone. Trust strides confidently forward and acts after consulting doubt. Trust recognises the principle of abundance and is liberating, expecting “Joy” to right around the corner. Trust gets to play with me personally and professionally in 2010. A lot!
One of my most favourite books in all the world is J Ruth Gendler’s The Book of Qualities. Initially published in 1984, it is a gorgeous little book of 98 different qualities illustrated through prose and picture. I think I got it about 20 years ago now, and it is never far away. Seriously, in the words of a local icon “Do yourself a favour”…
Here’s what she has to say about Doubt…
Doubt camped out in the living room last week. I told him that we had too many house guests. Doubt doesn’t listen. He keeps saying the same thing again and again and again until I completely forget what I am trying to tell him. Doubt is demanding and not very generous, but I appreciate his honesty.
… and Trust.
Trust is the daughter of Truth. She has an objective memory, neither embellishing nore denying the past. She is an ideal confidant - gracious, candid and discreet. Trust talks to people who need to hear her; she sits quietly with this who are sceptical of words. Her presence is subtle, simple and undeniable.
Trust rarely buys round-trip tickets because she is never sure how long she will be gone and when she will return. Trust is at home in the desert and the city, with dolphins and tigers, with outlaws, lovers and saints. When Trust bought her house she tore out all the internal walls, strengthened the foundation and rebuilt the door. Trust is not fragile, but she has no need to advertise her strength. She has a gambler’s respect for the interplay between luck and skill; she is the mother of Love.
So with at least 98 qualities available - my question to you, heading into 2010, is what Quality will serve you best?
What quality do you need to harness, to nurture, to appreciate to create the 2010 you will be happy for?
Happy New Year all, and thanks so much for your comments and emails during the year. I trust we will continue the conversation!
December 29th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
Jen
Great post - honest and truthful which are the ones I like best.
I think it’s great to possess some or all these qualities and it’s both a challenge and an opportunity to aspire to manage doubt while staying loyal to trust. For me, I’ll always be challenged to stay true to all these qualities and it’s hard to pick one that will serve me best.
However, in the last few years, I’ve discovered the power of connection. I’ve found that if I need to harness some or one of these qualities, there’s someone in my network that I can reach out to who possesses the exact quality I need to appreciate at the right time and place.
I know because you’re one of the people I refer to, Jen. You are a great supporter and with the most admirable qualities. So not only Happy New Year to you, but also Happy You Near!
Cheers, Iggy
December 29th, 2009 at 9:24 pm
[…] What quality serves you best? jenniferfrahmcollaborations.x.iabc.com/ – view page – cached * IABC Central Oklahoma Bronze Quill Call for Entries…Early-bird Deadline - March 1 * To Social Media Policy Or Not To Social Media Policy…Is It REALLY a […]
December 30th, 2009 at 12:01 am
Jen, wonderful, thoughtful post - just what I needed to read as I take stock of one of the worst years of my life and head for (hopefully) something better in 2010.
I’ve harnessed some excellent qualities in 2009 - patience, resilience, responsibility, but they have overstayed their welcome and ended up bringing trapped boredom and dull repetition with them.
Unfortunately (or fortunately?) I can’t really kick these dudes out, but I’m looking forward to giving them some new friends to play with. Energy, intensity, determination, achievement.
In the interest of also embracing honesty in 2010 I must admit I feel exhausted just writing that. Like it’s too much, I’ll never manage it.
As to the one which will serve me best? Intensity. 2010 is the year I haul intensity’s backside into my life. It can sit on my shoulder as I hang out my umpteenth load of washing, change the fifth dirty nappy for the day, get up three times a night and start the morning, exhausted at half five to do it all again. Intensity will be there to remind me that life can’t be frittered away, that sometimes you need to make an effort outside of your “comfort” zone…or just your plain old zone. I’m hoping that embracing intensity will push me outside of the constraints of 2009 and into more diverse and fulfilling experiences in 2010.
Hmm, perhaps it’s actually hope that will serve me best….
One thing is certain, I hope we continue these intense conversations xxx
December 30th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by jenfrahm: A post more personal than professional: What quality will serve you best in 2010.? Happy New Year all! http://bit.ly/7Lf6vt…
December 30th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Jen, great post.
A terrific, timely reminder that we can choose which voices we’ll listen to, or not, as we muddle through our days.
For me, 2009 saw poor old Resilience getting a hella workout - and now she’s exhausted. “Let’s face it, she’s pooped!”
So next year I’ll be relying more on Courage to stop in their tracks the events that would normally make Resilience so necessary. Mostly the courage to say No, and sometimes the courage to recognise that This Is Not My Problem.
And I may even bring out Foolhardy once or twice. Remember, “there’s no party without Foolhardy!”
ABC
December 30th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Awww. Now I’m feeling all warm and snuggy! Connection. Intensity. Courage. Goosebumps!!
Iggy - thank you, and that is such a great point. I love it.
Sam - Wow - intensity. That’s a big one. I got ya back on it ; )
ABC - thank you, and here’s to courage! Yes, I too thought about how to get Foolhardy into the post. I suspect Trust and Foolhardy may actually become good friends by the end of 2010. I know Doubt can’t stand Foolhardy.
December 31st, 2009 at 6:59 am
“She’ll probably wear swhirling bohemian skirts, and less make-up.” luv it. your metaphors are vibrant, erudite. and to *trust* is a good one for 2010 but in my case, i think i’d go with *patience*
thanks Jen all the best! (and look forward to #iabc2010! w00t!)